I’m gonna break with tradition here and mention the football. Not, you understand, the soccer, which is a made up word as far as I can tell.

The remaining national squads are getting ready for the final push, with both the USA and UK taking part (and yes, it pains me to admit that the US were top of the group). You might think that it’s a world away from writing but you’d be surprised.

Football has its share of heroes and villains, moments of shining glory and, erm, penalty shoot-outs we’d rather forget. There’s drama and passion and a thrilling uncertainty until that final whistle blows, like the surprise closing chapter of a who-dunnit.

And the footballing fraternity has its own sparks of wit and wisdom.

Who can forget the late, revered Liverpool manager Bill Shankly who summed it up thus, “Someone said to me ‘To you football is a matter of life or death!’ and I said ‘Listen, it’s more important than that’.”

Or how about this from Mia Hamm? “If a team wants to intimidate you physically and you let them, they’ve won.”

And we’ll finish with that renowned Irish wit, Oscar Wilde. “Football is all very well as a game for rough girls, but is hardly suitable for delicate boys.”

Good luck everybody and may the best team win. But not on penalties.