A Dicey Proposition

By On July 23, 2010 · 21 Comments · In A Dish Called "Wanda"

Peggy Dobbs, that Flower of the South, does it again in this entry – steeped in local flavor – for our A Dish Called “Wanda” contest. What happens when you introduce a small-town gal to big-time stakes? Maybe a tall tale, maybe a true story . . . either way, what happens at Wanda’s stays at Wanda’s.

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A Night on the Town

“Hey… Lightsey.”

I got his attention.

“See you and Swindle at lunch and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Lightsey waved as he drove out.

I couldn’t believe what had happened Saturday night and I was as anxious to tell it to my friends as they were to hear it!

Lunch hour finally came. Sitting on the wide running boards of two express trucks waiting to be worked on, we three had a little corner of privacy. I was the center of attention and a good story teller. As we finished eating our lunch, we lit a cigarette and they leaned in a little closer, looking around to make sure the supervisor was nowhere in sight.

“Well, first of all,” I began, “you know my wife’s sister, Jenny is living with us for a while. She’s  here from a little hole in the wall down South and she wanted to go out on the town.”

They  began laughing and cat calling like we lived in Atlanta or some big city.  Laughing with ‘em, I downed the rest of my Coke. “Well, anything is bigger than where she came from,” I said.

“Anyway, she wants to go gambling. You’ve heard of the place. I use to deliver up there on the mountain when it first opened, so we drive up. The locals warned me about Wanda’s, but why was there so many cars if there was anything to be worried about? We get out, and I’m thinking, OK, it’s prohibition and gambling is illegal, but folks are gonna do it anyhow, even the cops. Right? You can’t legislate morality.”

I had read that in the paper. It sounded like it made sense, even if I wasn’t sure what it meant.  Both heads were nodding, so I continued.

“The place looked like the mountain side with a little window in the door, so they can check you. The women had on evening dresses and Livie really looked good. Jenny is a real looker too, but you talk about country…! She’d had a drink or two in high school, but made me swear not to tell her sister. You know how Livie hates drinking. The only dice Jenny’d ever seen was in some game she’d played at parties. She’d saved up her tips from that diner where she works and she wanted to learn how to shoot craps. I knew the guy at the door, and he knew we weren’t cops or kids, so in we went.”

For forty five minutes I told them a tale that should have been in The Guinness Book of Records, finishing with, “I swear on a stack of Bibles, Jenny picked up those dice and blew on ‘em and threw a seven thirty-two times before she rolled snake eyes and crapped out.”

“What do you mean ‘crapped out’?” Swindle asked.  He only played poker, and not much of that.

“It means she rolled  a two, called ‘Snake Eyes’ and she lost,” I explained. “But she was tickled to death to go home with that seven or eight  bucks. Just think what she could have won if she had just listened to me. Can you imagine anyone betting a quarter and then dragging it? If she had just put her first quarter back in her purse and then left the rest on the table each time she threw the dice and let it double! Man, that’s too much for me to count. The door man I knew whispered to me that if she had known how to bet she could have left owning the place.”

All three sat there smoking their Lucky Strikes and dreaming about…”What if?”

Then Swindle spoke up.  “You know what my Mama would say?”

Me and Lightsey looked at him. “She’d say, if Jenny had left all that money on the table each time until she throwed them snake eyes, then she woulda lost all the money on the table. Least ways she didn’t lose nothing.” We just stared at him, until I hit him with my cap and each of us picked up our trash and headed back to our trucks for the afternoon deliveries.

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Well, folks, Peggy’s thrown her quarter on the table.  She’ll see your comments, and raise  you double.  Anyone care to up the ante?

 
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  • Miryam

    Delightful story…. It is tough to imagine how drinking and gambling would create such alarm based on todays standards. Peggy, you really bring the flavor and personalities alive in this little epic. Extremely readable and charming…

  • Peggy R. Dobbs

    Thank you for giving it the time. During the 30's there really was a cave in Alabama used for gambling, prostitution, and illegal whiskey sales. As a little girl, I remember my Daddy talking about it. So much has happened in my generation and I have to wonder if all of it is that good.Blessings, pd

  • FJDagg

    Nice, Peggy. As Miryam says, “readable and charming.” You use dialogue very effectively–pulls the reader right in. Thanks!

  • Mac Eagan

    Peggy, this story is absolutely fabulous. Looks like you figured out how to work “the line” into your story. It was a perfect fit and completely stayed with the flow of the story and the character. Also, nice jump in the story line from when they walked in to when Jenny crapped out. I'm sure you could have narrated the details of the events inside and kept it interesting, but what you did worked equally well. I would add how excellent the dialogue was, but it looks like everyone else has already mentioned that.

  • Peggy R. Dobbs

    Mac, I was hoping to hear from you. I respect your opinion because you go to the point that is either good or needs work. The middle of the story was where I was having trouble with too many words. So I finally decided to leave it to the imagination rather than cut off too much diagogue. This event was a true story, according to my Dad.
    In your profession, do you do some writing, or have you had anything published? pd

  • Peggy R. Dobbs

    Thanks for your input. Dialogue is more difficult for me than narrative. But glad this one worked out. Thanks. pd

  • Mac Eagan

    Funny you should ask . . . well, first, thank you for your kind comments. As far as my writing goes, I read ravenously all through school. In high school, we were given a writing assignment and the teacher commended me for my realistic dialogue. After high school, I wrote as a hobby, but later set it to the side as life started happening around me. A month or so ago, my wife found AWWYP through craigslist and encouraged me to submit an entry. I've been here ever since. I have not been published, but that is something I would like to be able to do. I welcome any suggestions, either through this site or my FB page.

  • http://www.awordwithyoupress.com/ Thornton Sully

    Mac, you are doing exactly what you need to do to get published. There are two kinds of writers: Those who have been published, and those who have yet to be published. Your time will come, and perhaps even through this site(We will have other contests coming up that will result in publication for the winners, as soon as we get The Coffee Shop Chronicles on the shelves.) We appreciate, all of us, your participation in these blogs and the feedback you give other writers. It does not go un-noticed.

  • Mac Eagan

    Thank you

  • Star5fallonmyheart

    So many Prohibition pieces! Did I miss anything? Other than the 1930's?

    You are the Southern Belle of this page =) Every piece from you breathes and flaunts the best of the South.

    “What if” indeed! If my in-law were in that situation, I'd be wondering just the same =) And as usual, though your characters are 3-dimensional, there is always a little bit of morality thrown into your pieces–even if it's just being thankful for having the little his sister-in-law was able to hang onto at the end.

    And on a side note: this once, during Christmas, my uncle Pat busted out his Poker kit (I kid you not, it's this heavy metal box with all the fixings–chips, cards, you name it!) and we started playing…I'm the novice of novices, and as I laid my cards down at the end, I stunned everybody…with a flush =D Then they teased me that I won but didn't even know what hand I had.

    Puh-puh-puh-pokerface, puh-puh-pokerface =D

  • Peggy R. Dobbs

    I always look forward to what you see in what I write that I didn't see. I have told you before, you're gonna make a great teacher, but aim for higher than elementary school.

    I love movies that have a moral twist, “Scent of a Woman” in particular. Al Pacino deserved his Oscar, but whoever wrote that script was equally as worthy. The last few scenes alone were worth everything. He “always, without fail” knew the right road to take, etc. He wasn't afraid to look into his own heart and help us all see that we lie, deny, defend, blame and justify. But the willingness to change no matter how hard! Wow! So, I guess morality getting stuck into my stuff without me even knowing it, is sure a possibility. Thanks as always, pd

  • Jvandendorp

    After a little trip to the dictionary for snake eyes and crap out, the story came alive. I like the intro because it hooks the reader. We want to know more.
    The placement of ” the locals warned me about…”. is flawless. I followed your back and forths with another writer on the subject so I was curious of how you were going to use it.
    I also read your piece about the dying man and his son. That was very moving. Thanks for posting.
    JV

  • Peggy R. Dobbs

    Juan, I answerd you several hours ago but must not have hit post as. I was hoping you would read my story and let me know what you think. Sorry you couldn't read just straight through, I'm sure that was a hassel, but I wondered if there would be anyone who didn't know about shooting dice.
    Thank you for your critique on both pieces. Blessings, pd

  • Star5fallonmyheart

    You are the one supplying the genius =) Remember, it's not the critics who are remembered in years to come

    I think we can use morals a bit loosely…you and I seem to both take morals as the right thing to do etc. But I think what really drives an excellent story (other than morals) would just be sharp focus on the subtle shades of humanity…good and bad. Character really can drive a story too. When a story gets too much into “This is right/wrong” then it starts to take away from the story rather than provide a structure to follow. It may be the right thing to do to pay for that candy bar, but will this person pay for it? Are they willing to do what's right or give into selfish tendencies and grab it, even though there's a police officer ten feet away? It's usually that critical choice that ups tension in a story. In a world where people crave the movies where people do the wrong things (sometimes for the right reasons), you seem to write stories that promote these good morals without being preachy. Morality seems to be a big factor with you in your writing; it's part of who you are as a writer.

    Moment of shameless self-promotion: Did I ever have you read an earlier story I wrote called “The Bridesmaid”? There's a moral in that one but I have a main character/narrator who chooses the low road that sort of promotes what I said above…if you haven't read it, could you please take a look at it? =) And I PROMISE I'll NEVER do what the bridesmaid in my story did!!!

    www.writerscafe.org/writing/Stars-Fall-O…

    One last thing before I take a well-deserved nap: you couldn't pay me enough to do elementary. But (and I heard this from an old classmate who currently teaches math in New York) teaching middle school is the equivalent of stabbing yourself in the chest for 6-7 hours a day. So I'm sticking to the high schoolers and eventually college students =D

    Z…z…Z…z…

  • Dave Fisher

    Good story! It was fun and it flowed right along. I spent some time working in a casino in Reno throwing out drunks and problem children. I used to watch the players drop big bucks on the crap tables and walk out with empty pockets. Jenny did good (as the boys would say).

  • Peggy R. Dobbs

    Bet you have some stories you could tell, Dave. As much as I love to play cards, I can't imagine putting money on the table and taking a chance on loosing it with the turn of a card or the toss of dice. But to each his on! Hearts (cut throat Hearts) is the game I love to play.
    Thank you for your comments and letting us have a peek into your past. Blessings, pd

  • Peggy R. Dobbs

    I had read that piece before, but enjoyed reading it again. I see what we were discussing. Thanks. pd

  • Mari Maiko

    I agree with you Mac. Every thing is so natural and the story transitions smoothley. Nice Work! =D

  • Paul D Ragland

    I picture it all in my mind. Which one was Din Din?

  • Peggy R. Dobbs

    The “teller” of course! You know who Livie was and should know who Jenny was. True story! mzp

  • Peggy R. Dobbs

    Mari, I appreciate you giving my story your time and for commenting. It really does matter what other people think of our work, doesn't it? It lets us know if we are on the right track. Sometimes, we can't be very objective with our own writing.