Comments on: Witchy Woman

By: Jvandendorp

Jvandendorp — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 00:30:46 +0000

Julie,
I found this piece confusing; I had to read it several times to really understand it. What threw me off was that I did not know at times who was who.
When you say "blonde girl" my mind went: who's the blonde girl?
...when her fingers went limp... There was no mention of this before.
Also, you chose to narrate the whole thing; I find this monotonous as a whole. As a reader I like to create the world and the characters you suggest but if you tell me the whole thing, there's little room for that.
"It's okay. She'll be okay," I said as I knew the orbs around her would portect her.

"You know? Suzie's been sick with cancer for a long time and you've been a friend, a true friend," whispered
my Grandma.

I don't even know if my comments are appropriate but that's what came up after I read it a few times.
It seems to me that breaking up things makes them more interesting and also it looks better on the page.
Thanks for posting.
jv

By: julie ann weinstein

julie ann weinstein — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 10:53:48 +0000

Oh thanks, Starry5…yes, I've alwaysidentified with the weirdo's in the class and wondered what all that fuss about normalcy was anyways…it's seems like the weird ones in school had more reign to have fun. I notice that too as an adult and find myself happily being weird at times just for the fun of it.

Now I need to see what Wanda's up to as she seems to want another story in my Ruby Lucy collection.

By: Star5fallonmyheart

Star5fallonmyheart — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 09:29:34 +0000

Ooooh, ooooh, witchy woman, she's got the moon in her eyyyyyes...

A story of friendship and family...the struggle between individuality and social acceptance echoes through the generations. Witchcraft? Illness? Warped sense of humor? If society don't like it, you don't belong.

The imagery of the story was lovely. All at once while the narrator is ashamed of her family past, she knows the meaning of the orbs and is the only one without fear. Notable in a class of five-year-olds. And despite her desire to be normal, befriending a chronically ill child sets her apart more but can't help it; she wants Suzie as a friend--if only because Suzie desperately needed a friend. She cannot help but be different. That's just what she is, for better or worse =)

Minus the witchcraft, I identify majorly with the narrator. I remember the days when I was the weirdo/freak/crazy of our tiny class. So I can't help but like this story =) Wonderful job from our wonderful MC =D