Sal Buttaci uses his Crane-ium, but the duck was Peiking

By On January 30, 2012 · 35 Comments · In Featured, Of Knights and Knaves--current contest: rules

Literati!  (that would be you…New to the site?  Rush Windblow already had dibs on Ditto Heads, and Stephen Cobert already has “Nation”…so you who believe in books with0ut crayons are “Literati!”

Sal Buttaci, that good Irishman, is a finalist in our contest Of Knights and Knaves.  The prompt that each finalist must use is embedded in the story:I cracked open the fortune cookie when we finished dinner on our first date. It said what???

Here is Sal’s story about life in Changrala.  He has the good fortune to call it:

 

AT THE HOUSE OF CHANG

by Sal Buttaci

 

First I figured, Okay, wild goose chase, but that was my belly talking. I’d passed up the usual buttered bagels at the office, watched Hotcakes woof down hers, mine, and the third bagel always went to a finger shoot.

“So Crane finds love,” she said through luscious lips made sexier by the gloss of runaway butter. “Tomorrow, Valentine’s Day, is for suckers, Remember saying that?”

My belly growled again. I popped a stick of Juicy Fruit, pulled in a deep gray cloud of Chesterfield. Hotcakes drummed long typist’s fingers on her desk, waiting. Instead, hat and coat on, I headed for the House of Chang, an oriental diner off Brooklyn’s Boerum Street.

Johnny Chang, a pal from our old Woolworth’s Five & Dime days, had phoned me the day before. “Crane, she’s Jack Knife’s babe,” then in a true-blue Chinese accent, “Velly velly bad, Clane. Confucius say, ‘Flied lice good. Flied plivate eye not so good.’ “

In one coat pocket I carried ivory chopsticks Chang had given me for luck. In the other pocket a special friend, loaded and ready, if what Johnny told me about Mandy was true.

Johnny led us to my regular table, safe in the back of the diner, where we ordered, sipped piping-hot tea and played a volley of very small talk across the table.

A few feet away, in an alcove near the men’s room, pretty much hidden, I caught sight of two of Jack Knife’s goons playing mask games with their menus.

A setup? I’d picked The House of Chang. Mandy had invited an extra couple with guns. If she was Jack’s babe, I was that goose my belly was chasing. I was also New York’s star witness against the Knife. It made good survival sense for Jack to set me down horizontal.

I cracked open the fortune cookie when we finished dinner on our first date. It said what??? “DUCK, CRANE!”

I ducked to the sound of gunfire flashing Chang’s House. When it was over, Jack was out two shooters and his babe sat face down in a half-finished dish of “Happy Family.”

Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day. Plenty time to buy myself a box of Whitman Chocolates.

This is your crane

 

 

#

 

 

BIO

 

Salvatore Buttaci is an obsessive-compulsive writer whose work has appeared widely.  He was the 2007 recipient of the $500 Cyber-wit Poetry Award. His poems, stories, articles, and letters have appeared widely in publications that include New York Times, U. S. A. Today, The Writer, Writer’s Digest, Cats Magazine, The National Enquirer, Christian Science Monitor, Thinking Ten, Pen 10, and Six Sentences.

This is your crane on drugs

 

His latest collections of short-short fiction, Flashing My Shorts and 200 Shorts, are available in book and Kindle editions at  www.kindlegraph.com/authors/sambpoet

 

If Roosters Don’t Crow, It Is Still Morning: Haiku and Other Poems

Is available at www.amazon.com/roosters-dont-crow-still-morning/dp/8182532698/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1321825150&sr=1-1-catcorr

 

He lives the happiest of lives with his wife Sharon in West Virginia.

And this is what happens when you rubber duckie the wrong way

 
About The Author

Thornton

Someday, I'll get it write...

Visit Authors Website →
  • Karla

    sweet ride . . .and now i am hungry again. i love that her name was hotcakes. sticky. :)

  • Mac Eagan

    Nice work as always, Sal.  Brisk narrative to fit the style.  A cumbersome prompt line, in my opinion, but you worked it into the story in a believable way.
    I also liked the contrast supplied by “Happy Family.”  Somebody’s not happy now.
    But your readers are.

  • Diane Cresswell

    Oh Sal I’m such a sucker for the old time detective stories – Mike Hammer etc…  I love this.  You pulled out the stops and threw in the pot…ah I mean the Duck to the mix.  You hustled us into the action, laid back into observation and walked away a cool PI…alive.  Yup – cool!

  • http://www.theturnofthekarmicwheel.blogspot.com/ Monica M Brinkman

    Quite a ducky story my friend. Duck Crane! Loved the feel of your tale; set me back in the era where gangsters prevailed the speak-easy’s and the atmosphere of illegal boozed and high stakes gambling.

    Loved it! Keep em coming Sal.

  • Monica M Brinkman

    Think I need my editor. Sorry I meant booze but it is very early in the morning.

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    Thanks, Monica.. This is my fourth Crane story and I am really getting to like this guy!

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    Thanks, Diane. I was a huge fan of the Mike Hammer novels back when I was a teenager leading a boring life and needing some vicarious thrills.

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    Mac, writing noir flashes is fun because one can always find room for irony.

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    Crane doesn’t even know her real name. He thinks it was Wanda, but he’s not sure. “Hotcakes” is the name he gave her the first time he saw her. No love interest here. Every good PI needs a darn good secretary who’s always delicious eye candy!

  • Thorn

    Were you with us, Sal, when we had our Wanda contest?

  • Thorn

    From what I see of Sal’s writing, no doubt he would love the feel of your tale as well.

  • Ken Weene

    Great story, but how was the food? I love a private eye who can use chopsticks.

  • http://mikestangconstruction.com Michael Stang

    Great dialogue set in very comfortable discritption.  I just thought of something.  I have a Jack Crane character in my other submission for this contest- Evaston Station.  Crane is such a powerful name.  I hope Jack doesn’t interfere with Duck.

  • Kyle Katz

    Story line breezes along like is was already meant to be here.  Characters are clear, concise, with purposeful intent in each delicious word. What research do you do, to make the dialect of your characters seem natural on paper? Do you sound it out, or is there a formula.

  • Kyle Katz

    Okay. Now that is funny!

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    No, I wasn’t, Thorn. I wanda when the contest was…

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    Kyle, as for dialect, I guess I read so many noir classics in my youth, and the fact I spent my first 10 years living in Brooklyn, New York, helped too. Since Crane is a PI in the 50s and 60s, I research the eras so I make no errors in timing. I was had a mild case of anachronism in my early writings and it nearly killed me. 

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    Michael, when I came up with the name “Crane” for my first flash about him, which I included in my book Flashing My Shorts, I seriously contemplated using the names “Derrick,” “Chain,” “Ball,” and “D. Molishen,” but “Crane” rolled off the tongue. By the way, it’s not his birth name. That was Horvath Blatsmore, which he was glad to leave behind. He got tired of being everybody’s “Hor.” Now his first and last name is “Crane” period.

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    At the House of Chang you can select from Column A, B, C, and D. They even have Italian dishes with a Chinese makeover, like “Fettiching Nee” and my favorite “Laviolee.”

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    Michael, if we both submitted a flash with characters named “Crane,” does that mean two craniums are better than one? Or are we going to cancel each other out?

  • Kyle Katz

    Great information to help us  writers.  Glad you only had a mild case and it was successfully cured. I personally loved Elliot Ness. It would sure be a great idea if you and Mac could post. The  top ten things to do if you are a writer.
     The top things not to do. (simple nuts and bolts). 

  • Lee Moorheqd

    Sal Buttaci never fails to surprise us with his stories and with their endings…. He is a great writer and deserves a place in the annals of great  American authors.
    Lee Moorhead

  • Dolores Doody

    I recognize genius when I read it.  Shortly after my first literary encounter with Sal, I ordered his “My Shorts” and have it on my Kindle to read when ever I need a Buttaci “fix”.  Sal, you do not disappoint.  

  • http://mikestangconstruction.com Michael Stang

    Yeah, that Hor Crane Period probably went against the natural flow.

  • Kevin

    Congrats on a well deserved win, Sal!  Great story and extremely creative use of the prompt. 

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    Dolores, how kind of you to plug my 200 Shorts! I love feedback from those who have read it and, despite being the author, highly recommend it to shorts lovers everywhere (as a book or on Kindle).

  • http://twitter.com/sambpoet Salvatore Buttaci

    Lee, you are much too kind! Thanks for supporting my work by reading it and commenting on it. I appreciate it immensely.

  • Mac Eagan

    A year to a year and a half ago.  I wanda’d into Word Towers shortly before that one.

  • Mac Eagan

    If one of you were really good and the other were really bad, there would be a cancellation.
    Turns out, you both are great.

  • Mac Eagan

    Who, me?

  • Kyle Katz

    Yes my friend.  Like a check list before you fly the plane. Just a simple friendly laundry list, especially for writers that are attempting to to put  thoughts on paper for the first time. This sight may be their only resource. A reminder sheet for us writers.
     Post it on this site so it is easily accessible.(Check with Thorn)
    I think you have this gift  and it would be great if you and Sal could share it.Globally.

  • Tlrelf

    Yet another fun tale. . .I would have had a whee of a time with this prompt, so I’m going to still do it on my own, modified, of course, so Thorn doesn’t sick his lawyers on me or something worse. . .take away my pound of French Roast in the cupboard!

    I can hardly wait for the next contest . .Bring it on!

  • Kyle Katz

    Perfect example. Where did ‘to to’ come from? Should I have slowed down my brain, as I try to get the words out. Stronger glasses? Read my comments over 2 times, 3 times or until its perfect? Tell the kids to leave me alone? Get there own darn dinner? Wine before or after? See where this is going? 
    I’m taking a break, I’m going to the Gym. BYE.

  • Chuck

    You get the -tsk tsk- I usually save for Thorn for that eye candy remark.

  • Meerkat45

    Oh Sal, congrats on yet another honor!  Your story is most enjoyable…love the dialogue! 
    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….you’re a literary genius!